Invasion 1963

Did you know JFK was replaced by an alien from outerspace sometime in 1963? Part of an ill-fated exchange program with Venus, the alien-JFK impersonated our 35th President with great skill. It was this alien that suffered the murderous assassin's bullet that fateful afternoon in Dallas. With our young Catholic president seemingly deceased, the REAL John F Kennedy lives even today in exile on the sandy shores of Venus. His return to Earth would reveal the existence of extra-terrestrials. If this knowledge had been made public in '63, it would have unfortunately destroyed the Great Work that the Kennedy's and the Venutians had been building together for two decades.

Here, on this very video, you can hear the tale of the false-JFK's interstellar travel to earth and the aftermath that resulted from the assassination of the Venutian Ambassador. From the lips of alien-JFK's only living hybrid offspring, Ralph Kennedy, the tragic journey of Ralph's grandfather is told here for the first time.


I made this movie. The words and voice are mine. Any footage used here has the direct cultural purpose of subversion in that the images are meant to narrate visually an intent that is both similar yet distinct from the intent of the poem recited. That is to say, that the original intent of the footage has not been reproduced nor would the resulting montage ever have cause to replace demand for the original works that help compose my video.
Fair Use is at play.

Many thanks and credit is due to freesound.org musicians and audio adepts: james.brody for his bean belt shaker, ultratone for his circus-like mashed drum sample, suonho (thanks again) for his basscapes samples, Cyril_Laurier provided wind, jakeharries provided water sound, pryght and marvman for their bass lines, sagetyrtle and st4ngs for their laughter audio, and Andrew Duke for his roll effect.

Spoken word piece by me entitled
"In Southerly Places"

low in the tawny tendrilous grass does grow
a speckled mother of pearlescent shadow
upon the tilted dolled-up dreamcoat
on the river-worn weakened shore
where the ferrymen bedraggled and weathered
refuse to touch a clay orange hand
the shadowy man shakes a shadowy hand
if you be seeing me again
there won't be any wound to mend
and none that sparkles in the east
can lead these men across the plains
the sandy wind to catch in sails
holding mouths wide open to suck the bravado born breeze
to swiftly speed the journey dead
in southerly places,
they speak in codes


Did you know that JFK was replaced with an alien in 1963?
I did. That's why they shot him. Although the world was kept in the dark, he was an alien worth mourning. The public killing made it impossible for JFK to return to Earth, leaving him to spend the remainder of his days on the planet Venus....


A picture of Kennedy's kept woman; a Venutian/Human hybrid called "Claire"

Moon Landing Party Jam

Another track from the April 17th 2003 Hooked on a Feeling show, the Moon Landing Party Jam focuses on the 1969 communication between NASA mission control center in Houston and the Apollo 11 moon landing team of Aldrin, Armstrong, and Collins. The other source audio is the "phone call" that President Nixon made to the astronauts. This presidential conversation was televised to millions around the world split-screen with footage of the moonwalk. The source recordings here represent the first inter-lunar communications ever recorded and they are far from clean. Every voice is over-modulated and the dialogue is puncuated by slightly piercing beeps. These beeps are there to let the earthlings know when the moonmen's transmission has finished and that they are ready for a response from earth.

The audio for most of this track is composed by the Justified Ancients of Mu Mu, original acid house samplers from the UK in the 80s. The Ancients were forced to remove many of their initial records from stores as this was prior to the existence of sampling laws for musicians. Drummond and Cauty of the JAMs went on to form the KLF, a popular psychedelic dance group fairly similar to the Ancients. The more prominent song featured here was one of their hits as the JAMs, Doctorin' the Tardis, a song that fits the interstellar theme quite well. Later, the K Foundation burned a million UK pounds for very little reason.



Four funky fresh fellas



MOON LANDING PARTY JAM

Moon Landing Party Jam - HOAF Tapes by slim

In 1969, the America was in the depths of the Cold War, struggling to come to terms with the Civil Rights Movement while the war in Vietnam raged on without a foreseeable end. It was a tense time for most Americans as the vision of 1950s wholesomeness grew tarnished and tired in the face of nuclear armageddon.

For a brief moment, the moon landing lifted that communal depression in America. As the masses watched from their living rooms, two men conquered the dreams of star-gazing children forever. Now that travel to the moon was a possibility, the dream had died. No longer could young boys and girls speculate about the skin-color of moonmen and whether or not the surface was indeed composed of swiss cheese. Snatching these colorful fantasies from the minds of children forever, Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong trampled on top of those youthful dreams of a craterous moonscape. Like conquistadors, they quickly defiled the soil and planted their flag.



*All music originally aired at non-profit station WCFM 91.9FM Massachusetts. As this material was originally broadcast with permission and the resulting audio is both transformative and unlikely to replace demand for the original artist's work, I am claiming the right to fair use.


EXTRA CREDIT ALERT
Little known fact: Nixon thought the astronauts had space cooties.

Here's an old song by me called "Equal Rights for Moonmen". It's an anti-war protest song I wrote back in the Bush administration.

Equal Rights for Moonmen - Slim Oliver

blueberry: a one act play

characters:
Bert- thin, slightly balding male
Erny- plump male; Bert's roommate

Two men are sitting opposite each other at a small table. Upon the table sits a solitary slice of blueberry pie. The scene begins with both men staring at the slice of pie as if frozen in time. Behind them is a framed watercolor painting of a smiling woolly mammoth hanging next to a window that admits a faint amount of street light. The flowered wallpaper gives evidence of domesticity, recalling a 1950s kitchen.

Bert: Hey, Erny, you gonna eat that pie?

Erny: The thought had entered my mind. Yes, I am planning to partake in this sugary compote goodness wedged between two pieces of bread-like crust.

Bert: Well now, I am glad to see that you have an adequate ability in the description of all things pastry. You show much improvement from the days when I picked your soiled flesh up out of the gutter in Greenwich Village and landed you in a respectable area code. Now I ask you again, were you planning to devour that entire piece of scrumptious purple pleasure by yourself?

Erny: You see, dear Bert, that it is absolutely necessary for my person to ingest that piece of pie by myself. The doctor told me just the other day that it is essential to my health that I consume more starch, fruit, and sugary foods. So, obviously, this single item fulfills all three of his demands. I would gladly share a bit of it with you but the insurance company requires that I comply with all of the doctor's requests or they will no longer carry me.

Bert: They'll no longer carry you! I've been carrying your bulky weight around with my wallet for the past seventeen years. Who does your laundry? Pays your bills? Lies to your mother about your honest Baptist lifestyle? As far as your doctor's wishes, I think you consumed enough sugar last night with that layabout by the garbage cans outside of the deli. What was it? Six wine coolers and four whisky sours, I believe.

Erny: Wow, I think you might be right. That's exactly what I had. You must be pretty good at research, you know, being a stalker and all.

Bert (somewhat surprised): What are you talking about?

Erny: You think I don't know about the shrine you've built to Kirk Cameron up in the attic? Don't you think the police would like to know who's been making those obscene calls to Kirk's house sounding strangely like a Muppet?

Bert: But how did you know? I've never told anyone. I'm rather ashamed about the whole thing, actually.

Erny: While you were at work, I joined the neighborhood watch. They know everything.

Bert: How would they know anything?

Erny: Don't you think it's odd for a forty-five year old man to buy old back issues of Teen Beat and Tiger Beat at garage sales? And not just asking to buy them, but asking specifically for issues with Kirk Cameron and 21 Jump Street-era Johnny Depp on pages opposite each other. People remember these things.

Bert: I'm so ashamed.

Erny: Hey, it's all right. We've all got something twisted in our closets. Remember when I joined that cult that killed Jayne Mansfield? The next day I woke up strung out on goofballs with a bloody knife in my pocket. And do you know where I woke up? In Don Knott's guest room next to a certain drunk young blonde from Charlie's Angels.

Bert: Get out! You and Farrah?!

Erny: Yeah, you know, you just got to look back on these things and laugh.

Bert: I guess you're right. But anyway, about that piece of pie....

Erny: I already told you that my doctor says I need to consume more...

Bert: Would you please shut up? You orange-faced balloon, still buying your clothes in the Husky department aren't you? What happened to that miracle diet you'd been ranting about? I thought you said just one little pill and you would magically lose those extra pounds.

Erny: Well, I'd rather not talk about that particular remedy. Rather painful in the pocket book if you know what I mean.

Bert: Actually, I do not.

Erny: Well it turned out to be a tapeworm in that pill. Cost me a hefty price to have them pull that thing out of my intestines. Painful, too. You realize where they've got to pull it out from, don't you?

Bert: Disgusting.

Erny: Quite.

Bert: Well, let's say I go down to the corner store and pick up some vanilla ice cream. That way we can make pie a la mode. With each of us contributing to the whole, we can share equally.

Erny: Sounds fair.

Bert: All right then. I'm off.

Bert exits stage left to go to the store. Erny is left sitting alone, staring off into space as if daydreaming. Still looking off into space, he picks up the fork and takes a bite of the pie.

Erny: Mmmm, blueberry.....

True Story of the Pokemon Empire Spoken Word

I have constructed an audible version of the piece in text two posts below. There are some samples you may recognize if you were born between 1976 and 1988. Please enjoy. If you do not enjoy, leave a negative comment.

True Story of the Pokemon Empire - Stephen F Oliver

How To Noodle

If you are not familiar with the extreme sport of Noodling, which was made infamous by Bradley Beesley's 2001 film Okie Noodling, then perhaps you should wander over to the Wiki page on the subject found here Noodling

For those that are familiar with the sport and those that are not, I offer up this brief musical tutorial for children that instructs the listener in the finer details of Noodling.
The beginning of this piece contains a tangential conversation between myself and Evan Chadwick, a man of much distinction. That conversation concerns the Giant Chinese Salamander, so while not strictly about Noodling still provides a dainty aquatic segue. Gather the young'uns together and lend an ear.
Enjoy!

How to Noodle (giant salamander intro) - Slim Oliver

The True Story of the Pokemon Empire

The realm of children’s entertainment has always been suspect of willful subversion. Animated cartoons in America are largely written by drug-addled ad-men in order to sling product to eager young minds freshly abuzz from the infusion of sugar provided during after-school “snack time.” In my youth, the oats and grains conglomerates worked in open partnership with the big three network television stations to provide a competitive marketplace selling ad space to a captive child audience for four hours every Saturday morning. We sat attentively, shoveling sugar cereal into our gaping maws as anthropomorphic animals in t-shirts flew in cars and tricked the park ranger with our tacit approval. Sadly, upon checking the television one recent Saturday morning, this partnership seems to have been dissolved. A wasteland of paid programming and Golf tour footage litter that which was once a mighty refuge of childhood delight. But where network television now lacks, cable television persists in its efforts to sell your young son or daughter some useless piece of plastic junk that lights up and makes music. From Spongebob to Morphin Rangers, none of today’s most popular programming can compete with the might of the new Mickey Mouse from the land of the rising sun, Pikachu. With lightning bolts and rosy cheeks, Nintendo, the video game juggernaut of the 1980’s and 90’s, has successfully transformed their Pokemon property from a platform on their handheld Gameboy into a multi-media phenomenon that has transfixed children worldwide.

The marketing division of the Nintendo Corporation has tirelessly cannibalized its own material creating a variety of new video games, a role-playing card game, manga comic books, and sundry other Pokemon-themed literature (ex: Pokemon Chapter books #8, Return of the Squirtle Squad). All of this was birthed by Satoshi Tajiri’s original video game that introduced 151 species of beasts with special abilities that could be tamed, befriended, and coached to engage in one-on-one battles against other creature-human teams. Flight, hypnosis, manipulation of the elements, and immense physical strength are but a few of the possible traits a Pokemon might possess. The battle-friendly angle appealed greatly to young boys, but it is the irresistibly cute, wide-eyed manga vulnerability that has sold thousands of stuffed animals to both boys and girls alike. As the popularity of the Pokemon franchise has grown, its number of species has increased to a total of 493 uniquely attributed battle-beasts released incrementally over four “generations” of multi-media programming.

American children (and those around the world) were enthralled instantaneously and have remained so in thrall for over a decade. The stars of Pokemon cartoons are all children with their own amazing creatures that obey their commands. Acting upon the parentally neglected dream of puppy ownership, the young child sublimates this desire by embracing the world of Pokemon. That pet store window-shopper envy as veiled through the collectible and attainable universe of Pokemon can be appeased through immersion into the game, the characters, and the morality inherent to it (there are no bad Pokemon, only evil Pokemon trainers). The underserved always witness their enemy's comeuppance in the Pokemon plotlines. This accesses the psychological need for protection that young children experience while attempting to navigate the trials and tribulations of the playground during recess hour. A magically endowed beast that is loyal to kind and gentle children would be the ultimate bodyguard against bullies, teachers, and the neighbor’s German shepherd. Protection and companionship is combined with the coolness of super-abilities all packaged in an ultra-cute animal that possesses the speech qualities of a baby able to just barely squeak out its own name.

It’s a childhood fantasy in which young boys and girls retreat to a land of stories and adventure filled with possibilities and successes. But with the advent and growth of genetic engineering and genome mapping, is the reality of species-unique exotic pets so very far away? They would have to be created as sterile specimens, of course, in order to protect the native bio-diversity of mother earth, but it is a small concern in any event. The rest is just like breeding guppies: take the traits you want from your mixes and combine them, culling the ugly and misshapen experiments. Genetically modified creatures mixed from various natural species would be infused with modern technology in order to create the extra-ordinary abilities described in the lore of Pokemon. Cybernetic voice boxes, surgically implanted at the neck, could transform any vocal utterance that animal makes into its Pokemon name as recorded by a cute Japanese voice actress. If it were possible, wouldn’t you want one?

This possibility is a reachable dream. Foreign geneticists have been working diligently on these types of creations for the last decade. Unfortunately for the US, the eight-year freeze on stem-cell research seen under the Bush Administration puts America at a unique intellectual disadvantage in the coming decades. Our top geneticists have already been lured away to private medical corporations in Germany and Japan, which will leave the world’s biggest superpower vulnerable to the loss of its title. While the Germans have taken a simplistic approach and seem to be breeding over-sized, all-terrain cattle with both edible and wartime capabilities, the Japanese government has taken its cue from the marketing team at Nintendo and begun the scientific groundwork necessary for creating a diverse menagerie of bio-engineered, human-compatible creatures.

Japanese state scientists in league with the engineers at Nintendo are presently conducting genetic experiments, attempting to re-create both the appearance and abilities of fictional Pokemon species in the flesh. No cybernetic voice box will be necessary, as enough human genes for rudimentary speech are spliced into every new monstrosity created in the lab. Domestic dog genes are another staple ingredient in the genetic recipe, ensuring a loyal and obedient demeanor which has been consistently bred into canines for centuries. A mélange of other species’ traits are mixed and matched frequently. Snake eyes and batwings on the back of a dolphin and other things like this are attempted on a daily basis. Staying true to its origins, each creature possesses a calculated amount of genetic chaos controlled by infinitesimally small nanotechnology that allows the creature to mutate into an “evolved” form. The nanites in the blood act as genetic stabilizers, a framework on top of which the architecture of the genes drapes itself. At moments of extreme physical strain nearing death the nanites scatter, leaving the genes momentarily without form. As quickly as they disperse, the nanotechnology will re-activate, the animal’s form will change to affect the re-organization of its already muddled DNA. In the event that the resulting creature is unable to survive in a battle situation or is considered just too ugly to be allowed to live, it is promptly culled. It is a dark truth that many “evolved” genetic creatures die from a result of this planned inconsistency.

The Japanese are close to perfecting their science and when they do, what will emerge is nothing less than a new system of world citizenship. Once they have perfected the first 151 species from the original generation of Pokemon monsters, they will begin to auction them off in exchange for national loyalty to the state of Japan. In exchange for transferring your citizenship to the land of the rising sun, you will receive an ironclad contract that grants you the rights to your very own genetically modified battle-beast. Whether you enter the newly formed fight leagues in order to gain fame and fortune or whether you choose a more domestic existence with your semi-conscious, lightning-powered rat creature is up to your discretion. The Japanese government will reward you for your loyalty by promptly replacing an expired creature no questions asked. So feel free to be irresponsible and disgusting, as it couldn’t possibly be a crime against god or remotely considered abuse.

At first, the demand will exceed the supply and Japan’s shores will be engorged with immigrants. As foreign nations begin to lose their industry along with their populace, a new international landscape will evolve. It will no longer be necessary to live in Japan in order to be a citizen and receive your very own Snorlax. Nations will relax their restrictions to allow their former citizens to still reside in their native countries so long as they pay property and income taxes. Federal taxes will be collected by the Japanese and those ex-patriots still living in their abandoned states will suffer increased tolls on federal highways and increased ticket prices at national parks. This system of transient citizenship will have a great effect on the global political community. Heads of state will be lured away to foreign lands by competitive contracts, as constituents are traded as assets to aspiring nation-states from the Japanese surplus. It will resemble closely the system that is present in American professional basketball. Nations will be forced to advertise for new citizens, creating free market competition that will allow the individual to choose the best set of rights, privileges and restrictions for him and his family. Totalitarian utopias will abound in many colors, and you will be able to freely choose between them and Japan.

Japanese dominance will be overly apparent once all is played out. This superiority will stem from its creation of this system. While other nations will have suffered from their loss of citizens, Japan will have prospered in the interim. By the time the rest of the world has adapted and begun its aggressive marketing for new citizenship, there will be no catching up to Japan. Still, its monopoly on the new commodity of genetically created companion animals will eventually disappear, leaving an internationally competitive market in its wake. Trade secrets cannot be held long in the scientific community. This will briefly destabilize the newly defined order. Germany’s mecha-organic Bovines of Despair will make a wasteland of Northern Europe as Japanese geneticists work tirelessly at developing a countermeasure from the genes of fossilized dinosaurs. Once this is successfully accomplished by crossing raptor genes with those of a lemur (making for an extremely acrobatic killing machine with opposable thumbs) things will settle down a bit. War will be replaced by huge battle beast tournaments held between chiefs of state in order to settle border disputes and negotiate treaties. A new League of Nations will be formed in order to officiate these spectacles. Nations will reveal potent and deadly beasts at expositions in order to flaunt the strength of their genetic creations and effectively keep the peace in much the same way nuclear deterrence has for the last sixty years.